What was your first impression?

I have read many marriage and engagement books. Most, if I am honest,
have been twee. This one looked different. It looked factual and important.
The subtitle is 'How to build a lasting relationship' which sounds as though
it could have something to say to every married couple. The foreword is by Nicky
Gumbel, a long time friend of the Lees.

What's it about?

There are seven sections, with titles like 'Building Strong Foundations'
'The Art of Communication' and 'Good Sex'. Each of these has several chapters.
In this way, the book covers an impressive array of issues in marriage. Each
section ends with a short summary and a 'golden rule of marriage'. There
are many amusing cartoons throughout.

What did you like about it?

I loved the layout. The book is appealing to read straight through but can
also be dipped into at any point. It is honest and includes examples from the
Lees' marriage as well as many couples who have done their marriage course.
It has practical advice and shows that a Christian marriage can come back to
health from almost any point, going against the modern view of serial monogamy.
The authors were bold enough to say what an important part God has played
in their marriage.

What didn't you like?

Nothing!

What will you still remember a year from now?

My husband and I stay best friends without much effort. This book reminded
me that to enjoy the full potential of our marriage we still need to keep putting
in extra effort. I was also struck by the different ways there are of showing
someone that you love them, and the need to express love in the way that our
partners best relate to

Who would you recommend this book to?

I would recommend this book to Christian married couples and to people who
are planning to get married. I could also recommend it to some non-Christian.
It would especially appropriate for people who had mentioned problems in their
relationship and were looking for some guidance.

Can you give us a couple of good quotes from the book?

'Studies in communication reveal that less that ten percent of what we want
to communicate involves the words we use. The tone of voice with which we say
it accounts for approximately forty percent and our body language for the remaining
fifty percent. This is as significant for listening as it is for talking.

Physical proximity aids communication: shouting our conversations from one
room to another is not very effective. If our husband or wife needs to tell
us something that has upset them, sitting close to them, putting an arm round
them and most of all looking at them will show that we are concerned. Eye contact
conveys the message: 'I am interested in what you are saying and I am giving
you my undivided attention.'

'As we begin to take in the incredible truth of God's ongoing forgiveness
of our failings, he becomes not only the model but also the motivation for forgiving
others. We feel inspired to echo his generosity in our relationships with others.'

review by Hilary 

Buy this book now!