What was your first impression?

with a man in a dog collar looking fondly over her shoulder. This intrigued
me. It made me wonder what the book would contain which would shatter
this image. It is written by a vicar's wife in Hull and endorsed by Rosemary
Green and Margaret Hacking.

What's it about?

All the main issues are covered here: expectations, children, housing,
retirement and others. Although she does highlight negative experiences, the
main focus is on blessing and privilege. She speaks from her own experience
throughout; she never claims to be writing a definitive version of what it is
like for everyone.

What did you like about it?

I liked reading about the experiences of someone else. She had some good
tips for things like saving money and making your day off your own. She was
honest about their situation and those of their children and it was good to
read how they have coped with certain challenges. As I said, it was refreshing
to read a book of this kind that is predominantly positive.

What didn't you like?

At times I felt that her views came through too clearly in amongst her explanations
of why they do things the way they do. In the chapter entitled Work she explains
at length why she hasn't had paid employment, to leave her free to be a vicar's
wife. This is fair enough but I did sense she was advocating this for every
vicar's wife. Though I don't currently work, even I felt a little put out by
this. Parts of the book were written in a stream of consciousness style and
it wasn't always clear what points she was making through this. Considering
this book was published in 2002, there is no mention whatever of clergy husbands,
of whom there are now quite a few.

What will you still remember a year from now?

Though an interesting read, I doubt that this book has left a lasting impression
on me, such that in a year I will still remember it. I would read it again though.

Who would you recommend this book to?

I would recommend this book to other clergy wives and the wives of people
who are training or about to train for the ministry. It would also be helpful
for the actual ministers themselves to read.

Can you give us a couple of good quotes from the book?

'Bringing up our children in love, discipline and the faith will involve
sacrifice for us, but we must do it. I have recently been struck by the numbers
of mothers and fathers, both on the media and ones I have met, who have said
they didn't appreciate how much having a child disrupts a couple's life.'

'As a minister's wife you have a significant role in keeping your husband
spiritually healthy. You must keep healthy yourself and encourage him to keep
healthy too. He may not have colleagues to talk about Christianity, but he has
you. It may be that you feel inadequate because you haven't had the training
or be so well read, but I am sure he would appreciate using you as a sounding
board.'

review by Hilary

Buy this book now!